I Used to Live Here Once
by EllieLovesToRead
Summary: Lily died in an accident before she got her Hogwarts letter. She comes back as a ghost and meets a wizard, James Potter, who is the only one who can see her. Can James convince everyone that she is really there, or will they think he's gone mad?
1. Prologue

**I Used to Live Here Once…**

By Eleanor Jane Farrell

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter or any characters within the books (or the films for that matter), you'll have to credit J.K. Rowling for that.

**Summary: **Lily died in an accident before she got her Hogwarts letter. She comes back as a ghost and meets a wizard, James Potter, who is the only one who can see her. Can James convince her family and the Hogwarts professors that she is really there, or will they think he's gone mad?

**0: Prologue**

**(Lily's POV)**

I used to live here once, before my accident. It used to be just me, mum, and my sister. The house looked the same, except for the front door. The wooden frame with the glass window taking up half of the door has now been replaced with one of those modern, plastic ones.

I remember walking through that door when I was younger. My mum would have the dinner in the oven, the appetising aroma and the heat would hit you as soon as you stepped inside. On really cold days, my mum would cook beef casserole to warm me and Petunia up. I would always eat the meat first, the rest didn't seem to appeal as much to me. The gritty feeling that the food used to leave in your mouth wasn't the most pleasant of feelings, but I'd give anything to feel it again. It seems a long time ago now since I've enjoyed eating food.

Someone else lives here now. A nice picture perfect family, a mother, a father and their son. It was somebody else's sanctuary now. Someone else's shelter and protection. I remember hiding in my room all of the time, curling up in my bed, reading my favourite stories. I always did like to have some time to myself. It seems now, that I have too much…

I first had too much time, right after my accident. I enjoyed it at first, then I got lonely. Everything all started on that day when I was playing with my sister, down by the river. She had fallen in. I had jumped in after her. I had wanted to rescue her from the water's violent hold. I didn't realise that I wouldn't be able to get out afterwards. I thrashed at river, struggling at it's hold, hoping to break through to the surface. Nothing was accomplished by my efforts. Eventually, I stopped fighting and surrendered to the water's pull. For a while after, all I saw was the cold, icy depth of the endless water; it had surrounded me in calmness and tranquillity.

That was the last time I saw my family and my home, until now.


	2. The New Family

**1: The New Family**

_That was the last time I saw my family and my home, until now._

I was happy to see my home, but I wanted everything to be just how it used to be. I wanted my mum to be inside cooking me and my sister dinner, baking a cake for dessert, or outside gardening. My mum used to love gardening, she especially liked planting flowers. I guess that's why she named me and my sister after them, not that I'm complaining, I love my name. Although, I can see why my sister used to complain, not many people are called Petunia. That's why I used to call her Tuney, for short; she hated her name. It used to make me giggle when my grandmother used to come around to visit, she used to call everyone "love" or "pet". She never did get why Tuney would answer when she called my mum "pet," poor old soul. It's been years since I last saw my mother and sister, and even longer since I last saw Gran.

Straight after the accident, my mother had wanted to move. I was there when she had the conversation with Mandy, her best friend and neighbour, she had told her that there were too many painful memories here. I had tried to get their attention, Mandy once looked straight at me but it was if she had looked through me instead. After a while I gave up on Mandy and mum and went to find Tuney, I thought she'd be able to see me. When I had went to find her, she was crying into her pillow. I tried to comfort her and tell her everything was fine, that I was okay. I told her that she shouldn't blame herself but she didn't hear me. Nobody had heard me.

It wasn't until the funeral that I realised that I was dead. My dead body was in the coffin that they buried. I couldn't believe I was actually dead. I thought I was just invisible or dreaming, how wrong was I? My dad came to the funeral, at least I knew he at least cared for me. I hadn't seen him since I was 8. He and my mother had split up and divorced when I was only 3. He and my mum talked for a bit at my funeral, he had suggested that she and Petunia could go live with him. That's why there is a new family in my house.

I didn't want anybody else living in my house. I wanted to live there with my family. I doubted they felt the same though, Petunia and mum had gotten settled with my dad. It was as if they had never been divorced. Don't get me wrong, I was happy for them but I couldn't be included in the family. They couldn't even see me. That was one of the main reasons why I left and came back to my real home. It was so lonely, wandering about with nobody even seeing you and no amount of longing could change that. I used to wish I was invisible when I was younger but now, I don't know how anybody can want to wish this upon themselves.

I was suck in my past, reminiscing of events gone until something caught my eye. The new family who lived in my house had returned from…wherever it was they were, I didn't catch where they said they were going. It wasn't important anyway. However, their son was back from his boarding school. I'd only seen him in the pictures that his parents had. He looked much more mature than the young boy in the photographs. Now that I thought about it, those photos were rather strange. I'd only just realised that they were moving. Moving! How could I have missed that? My thoughts shocked me so much that I almost fell down from the tree I was floating above. Of course I wouldn't have actually hurt myself, I was already dead. I would never get used to referring to myself as dead because, to me, I still felt very much alive.

I watched the boy pull all of his luggage out of the car, which basically consisted of a suitcase that looked way to small to fit everything in. Things were starting to get really bizarre around here as the next object the boy pulled out was a cage with an owl inside it. This confused me, I was pretty sure that a boarding school wouldn't allow a student to keep a pet owl. Although, the whole family seemed really weird, in my opinion. They seemed really old fashioned yet they dressed in the weirdest clothing that I have ever set eyes on. At least they had a television and a telephone. I mused over the family for quite a while. I heard them talking animatedly in the kitchen but I didn't listen in - it didn't matter how curious I was - I wasn't going to eavesdrop on their private conversations.

I'm not sure how much time passed, as I've mentioned before, I have way too much time to myself. The boy came outside and sat on the bench that I used to sit on when I wanted some quiet time to draw or read. The tree I was in was directly under the bench and I felt a little intrusive watching the boy. He was about my age, well the age I would be now if I hadn't died; I'd just turned 11 when I drowned. I floated down from my perch on the tree to get a better look at the boy below me. To my surprise, he jumped when I walked in front of him. I then noticed the wasp buzzing around us, making me jump as well. However, I was wrong about the wasp theory when he looked into my eyes and beamed a smile at me.

"Hello," he addressed me. "Not that I mind, but what are you doing here?" This shocked me. He actually saw me? I gasped in surprise and felt my body stiffen because I had let myself be caught off guard. He seemed to notice my reaction and his friendly eyes turned inquisitive.

"Y-you can see m-me?" I trembled on my words. He cocked his head slightly to the side and scrunched up his forehead in confusion.

"Yes, I can see you?" he asked rather than answered but I got my answer from his response. I felt excitement run through me, I had to restrain myself from jumping up and down, cheering. So, was I alive again? Had this trip outside of my old house given me my life back? I mentally told myself to calm down, there was no use in getting my hopes up.


	3. A New Friend

**2: A New Friend**

_I mentally told myself to calm down, there was no use in getting my hopes up._

I looked back at the boy in front of me. He seemed rather bemused with the whole situation. I knew he had a lot of questions but I had mine too.

"Who are you?" I asked softly. This boy might be the answer to my loneliness. However, he didn't seem to pleased with my question.

"Who am _I_?" he said incredulously, raising his voice a little bit. "Who are _you_?" Of course, I was practically a stranger, trespassing on his property. Maybe this wouldn't go as well as I'd expected.

"I'm sorry," I spoke up, still keeping my voice soft, I didn't want the boy to think I was a threat, "I'm Lily Evans. I used to live here."

"Oh, well, hello Lily," he gave me a bright smile before continuing. "I'm James Potter and I, uh, live here." He chuckled after his last two words. James Potter? I thought his name to myself, that had a ring to it.

"Hi," I simply replied, shyly. James just laughed pleasantly but I guessed it was just to clear the awkwardness in the air. James patted the space beside him on the bench invitingly. He wanted me to sit down. I hesitantly took a seat beside him.

"So apart from visiting your old house," James smirked, "what are you doing here?"

"That's just it, I was just visiting my house," I replied a little defensively. I watched as James frowned at my words. It was then I realised my mistake, I hurriedly corrected myself. "I mean my _old_ house." I smiled nervously in his direction. He just raised an eyebrow, not really buying my excuse.

"You're a little bit weird, Lily Evans, did you know that?" I liked the way he said my name, he'd stressed every syllable.

"Huh?" was my only reply. I didn't really know what to say, it wasn't as if I could explain my situation to him, it's not like he'd believe me anyway. James just sighed and shook his head, amused. A small smile appeared on his face. He stood up and stretched and held out his hand to help me up too. When I didn't take his hand, he smiled tightly and nervously rubbed his hands together to cover up what he had just tried to do. I felt a little remorseful about not being able to accept his polite gesture but waved it off for the moment.

"I have to go unpack," he explained to me. "I go to a boarding school, so everything I need is in my trunk."

"Oh, alright," I replied, a bit put out. I should have known this, I did see him arrive after all. He seemed to notice my reluctance to leave.

"You could stay out here if you like," James told me. "I don't think that my parents would mind, in fact, they probably won't even notice. They're very busy with work at the moment." He smiled reassuringly at me when I sat back down on the bench before he headed towards the front door.

I was alone for quite awhile after that. I heard James's mother call him for dinner. I guess I was going to be alone for some time still. I had, yet again, too much time to waste. I sighed when I heard loud laugher from inside the house. A wave of nostalgia come over me. I was longing for my family, I wanted to be at the dinner table laughing with them. I wanted to hear Tuney or my mother regaling their days over a family meal. I had to do something to occupy myself, I didn't want to think about what I had lost. Even though my family were still alive and well, it felt as if I'd lost them because they couldn't acknowledge me. I wallowed in self-pity for awhile before I saw a shadow in front of me, notifying me that somebody was standing behind me. I turned expecting to see James only to see James's mother instead. I wasn't prepared for when she sat right on top of me, or should I say, through me. I shrieked at the weird sensation that made its way through me. It felt horrible, and from the way that Mrs Potter shuddered, I don't think it was too pleasant for her either. She raised quickly from the bench and pulled her jacket tighter around her. She glanced at the spot where I was sitting for awhile and then shook her head and blinked rapidly as if to tell herself that she had imagined the whole thing. I was still dead then? Why was it that James Potter could see me but nobody else could? I felt rather disheartened at the fact I was still an invisible ghost but I was still glad had some company so I couldn't feel too bad about the fact.

Some time after the incident with Mrs Potter, James came back outside. He froze when he saw that I was still here but then smiled wide. His grin was infectious so I found myself smiling too.

"Still here, Miss Evans?" he teased and smiled again, this one, however, was a lopsided grin. "It's dark. Shouldn't you be going home? I'm sure you've heard on the news that these are dangerous times." I smiled awkwardly up at him, I didn't want to leave. This place had been my home for the last few months, I just hadn't been seen until now.

"Still here," I stated the obvious. "I must have lost track of the time. My mind has been wondering. I'll go now, should I?" he tilted his head, I'd noticed he did that when he was thinking over something. He looked down at the ground and huffed.

"You're making me feel guilty now." He looked at me sideways before speaking up again, "I can sense your reluctance to leave." He smiled weakly at me. He looked at the ground again but froze for the second time this night. He was staring at where my shadow should be with wide eyes. He then raised an eyebrow at me and smirked.

"No shadow?" he asked, amused.

"It…I…" I didn't exactly know how to explain my predicament to him. "No," I sighed and closed my eyes, when I opened them and looked up at James, his second eyebrow was up alongside the first one. He studied me for a moment, his eyes calculating.

"Okay," he simply replied after some time. I looked at him in shock, _"okay?" _How was he taking this whole situation so calmly? I now looked down at his own shadow, quite prominent as the light from the streetlights illuminated the garden.

"What, you don't think that's strange?" I asked him, a little sarcastically.

"I've already said you're weird, Evans." I didn't like the knowing look he had on his face. "It's okay, I know you're a ghost, albeit the most solid-looking one I've ever seen. My kind can see them." What? His kind? What kind? Surely that would mean his mother and father would be able to see me too? Or was he some kind of psychic?


	4. Meeting the Family

**3: Meeting the Family**

_Or was he some kind of psychic?_

"Your kind?" I asked James.

He frowned at me before explaining, "Witches and wizards. That's what we are." He frowned deeper when I gave him an incredulous look. "You don't believe me, do you? That's just a little judgemental of you, Lily Evans."

"How so?" I snapped at him. Did he really think that I'd believe that he was a wizard? I may be dead but that doesn't mean that I'm gullible too.

"Well, you're a ghost, so why can't I be a wizard?" He looked expectantly at me, waiting for my answer. This boy in front of me was insane! Maybe that's why he could see me; he's mental! I looked at the ground as I answered him.

"Nobody's ever been able to see me before," I told him, "so what makes you any different?" As I looked up at him, he let out an exasperated sigh and shook his head slowly.

"I've already explained this to you!" he was getting impatient now if the frustration in his voice was anything to go on. "I am a wizard, so is my father and my mother's a witch!" If that was the case then why couldn't his mother see me? And I'm sure his father would have seen me in his garden every time he came back from work. I think I was right: James is mental. I decided to humour him and agree with him, for now.

"Okay, so you're a wizard," I mentally cringed at the sarcasm seeping through my voice, but then again, did he really expect me to take his word on it?

"You don't believe me, I can tell," James said but accepted my opinion. "You'll be shocked when I prove you wrong then." James grinned at me, sure of himself.

"I'll believe you when I have proof," I concluded but I would remain skeptical until then.

James smirked at me before uttering, "You will." He then went to grab my hand before pulling back, embarrassed at his mistake. He smiled encouragingly and beckoned me towards his house.

"Where are we going?" I asked him quickly, trying to keep up with his pace.

He sucked on his bottom lip for a while before answering, "Well, to prove to you that witches and wizards are real." He half-smiled at me. "And to introduce the resident ghost to my family." I just let him lead me to my old home. I doubted that his parents could see me and if they could they would have said something or reacted to me.

When I stepped into the house, I immediately regretted it; the smell of beef casserole filled my nostrils. The leftovers from the family's dinner had filled the room with a mouth-watering aroma. If I had been able to eat, my stomach would be rumbling right now. However, I can't eat, so I just enjoyed the odour that was circulating within the air. The place had been decorated since I had lived here; the walls were now a light green colour instead of the neutral magnolia that mum had preferred. The furniture was obviously different, my mother had taken all of her stuff with her when she had moved in with dad. Now the house looked like it belonged in an old black and while film, the only thing that stopped me thinking that I had travelled back in time was the electricity that lit the room. As I peered through to the living room, I saw James's father. He was sitting in a bright red, comfortable looking armchair. As James walked into the room, his father lowered the newspaper he was currently reading. He smiled at the sight of his son.

"Hey, James!" if possible, he smiled wider. "What were you doing outside alone? I know you can take care of yourself, but these are dangerous times. You have to realise that, son." I frowned at his words. Didn't James mention something earlier about things being dangerous at the moment too? I found myself curious as I listened more intently from the doorway I was presently standing under.

"Dad, I do realise what's happening. It's been all over the _Daily Profit_," James's expression was a sombre one. "The Death Eaters attacked a Muggle village last week, didn't they? The Ministry aren't doing anything useful to stop them!" Wait, hold on… Ministry? Death Eaters? Muggles? Was the whole Potter family completely nuts? I didn't have time to speculate as Mrs Potter walked straight through me…again. The same horrible feeling came over me once more. It made my whole body tingle. I let out an involuntary gasp. James's head shot up in my direction as he heard me. He then looked at his mother who was shivering and recoiling from me for the second time that night. I was beginning to see a pattern, I would get tired of these encounters very quickly. I saw James scrunch up his eyebrows in confusion. He kept looking at me to his mother and then back again, biting his lip in thought.

"They can't see me," I murmured quietly to him as I caught his eye. "You're the only one who has been able to see me, everyone else just looks straight through me." James gave me a pained look along with a look of worry and turned towards his father as he spoke to him. I tried to keep up with the conversation that they were having but it was as if they were speaking in a different language. There were so many words that I didn't understand but, in the end, I got the impression that this whole family really did believe in magic. How strange, there must be an inherited mental disorder that they all have. At least tell me that the mother doesn't believe that she's a witch! However, I was disheartened at her next words.

"I need to go to the apothecary's tomorrow; I'm running low on lacewing flies and fluxweed for the Polyjuice Potion." Poly-what? I was beginning to think that it me who had gone mad, maybe I was imagining the whole conversation. Had I had too much time alone? "You're going to come with me James, I'm not going by myself and I'm certainly not letting you stay here by yourself, unprotected." If I thought things couldn't get any stranger, I was wrong.

**A/N: Thanks again to all of my reviewers. :D And also to the people who have added this story to their favourite and story alert lists. :) I've had many reviewers who seem a little confused on some of the things in my story. I plan to make things clearer for you as I post more of my story but if I don't answer your questions, don't hesitate to ask them. ;)**


	5. Witches, Wizards and Explanations

**4: Witches, Wizards and Explanations**

_If I thought things couldn't get any stranger, I was wrong._

James didn't stay long in the living room with his parents and for that I was grateful. I didn't think I could stand the undecipherable nonsense that they were talking about much longer. This family really did believe that they were witches and wizards. Throughout the conversation, James kept throwing me smug glances as if to say, "I told you so," but for me, that wasn't proof enough.

As soon as they finished talking, James had retreated up the stairs to his room - my old room. A lot of things had been changed here also; the room was now decorated with a deep red colour with golden curtains and bed linen. The walls were decorated with photographs, posters and drawings. There was a scarf which had a lion's head on and had the word "Gryffindor" embroidered on it, pinned up like a banner above the head of the bed. The furniture was somewhat basic; there was a big wooden wardrobe, two sets of chest of drawers, a bedside table, a bed, a chair, and a desk littered with bits old-looking paper, empty ink pots and quills. Wow, how old-fashioned were these people? Didn't they know about the invention of the pen? In one corner of the room was a large bird cage with the owl that I had saw earlier today. Neither me nor James spoke for while, it seemed that we were both in deep thought; my thoughts only led to more questions that I needed answering. I was the first one to break the silence in the room.

"Okay, so, I need some sort of explanation. I'm really confused, and, to be honest, a little scared." I took a deep, unneeded breath before continuing. "Your dad said that people had died? People called Muggles?" When I looked back at James, he sighed. He pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger and collapsed into the chair near him.

"Like you need to worry," I heard him say under his breath but I chose to ignore him. "There's been a lot happening recently. Last week, a small village was attacked, the Death Eaters killed all of the Muggles - the non-magical people - living there." He grimaced at me and kicked the leg of the desk he was currently sitting at, anxiety etched on his face.

"Death Eaters?" I wanted to believe what he was saying, he seemed so genuine, but due to my own beliefs I was very skeptical. What kind of name was Death Eaters anyway? It seemed a little silly, somebody picking a badass name trying to sound bigger, scarier and tougher than they were? Well, from my point of view it just sounded ridiculous.

"I know you don't believe me…yet…but I'm going to explain things anyway. You can decide whether I'm making all of this up afterwards, but I assure you, I'm being deadly serious." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before exhaling and telling me his story. "Okay, well, I've already told you that I'm a wizard, and that my whole family is magical but there are others like us. Most of us are really good, but there are some that go bad or have always been bad. There was this one guy named Voldemort, or as many people call him, You-Know-Who - I think it's silly really: fearing a name. Anyway, Voldemort went bad and now he's gathered followers, that's why it's not safe, Lily, that's why." I had been listening intently to what he was saying and I had to admit, I was even more scared than before, oh not for myself, but for my family.

"And this man and his followers go around killing people?"

"Yeah," James voice was dark, "it's their idea of fun." Although I didn't have my proof, I was starting to believe that James was a wizard, only a little. This Voldemort seemed genuine to me though, I suppose there could be someone like him out there; it was possible to be a murderer without being a wizard. I was curious again but for different reasons this time.

"Why are you telling me all this?" I asked him, murmuring softly. That same expression from earlier, the one crossed between pain and worry, appeared on his face again.

He half-smiled before answering my question, "Well, I don't know how to say this. It's- Well, you can't be real…" his hazel eyes, looking in to my green ones, were pleading for reassurance. "I'd like you to be real. You're a nice person, although a little rude at times, but if-" He didn't finish what he was going to say, instead he let out an angry sigh.

"But if…?" I prompted. James let out another sigh.

"If my parents can't see you then you can't be real," he frowned at me. "All witches and wizards can see ghosts." I quickly wiped the shock off of my face. He didn't think I was real? I had no way of proving him wrong. I thought that I had finally found someone who could help me and he didn't think I was real!

"No! No… I am real!" I whispered. "I know I am. How can I prove that to you?" I really wanted him to believe me, take my word for it. I was frustrated that he didn't, was this what he was feeling earlier when I didn't believe that he was a wizard? Surely there had to be a record of my death, in the newspapers or something. If I could just show that to him maybe he would believe me. "Look me up. Go to a library look through the old newspapers," I told him firmly. I would prove to him that I was real even if it was the last thing I did.

"Lily, it's late, the library won't be open." James still had a frown on his face as he talked to me. Oh, yeah, time didn't really matter to me anymore, so much so, I didn't realise how late it was. One thing I was pleased about though was, that since I had met James the time had gone by a lot quicker. "I need to go to sleep. I have to get up early in the morning to go to Diagon Alley with my mum." Right, the wizard's shopping place. I sighed, the night would be a long one. I suppose I could go to the library myself. I could still touch and pick up things and sometimes vice versa, that is people can touch me if I concentrate. Did that make me a poltergeist? I remember Tuney telling me about them to try and scare me at night.

"Okay, I'll leave now," I smiled briefly before I headed towards the door. "I'll be back tomorrow. I'll prove to you that I exist, and then you can prove to me that you're a wizard. I want to see real magic."

"It's best if you come to Diagon Alley with me then. After that, you'll believe me."

"James? Who are you talking to?" I heard Mr Potter's voice from outside of James's room. I stepped to the side as he entered the room, I didn't want a repeat of what had happened with Mrs Potter. However, he still felt my presence as he started to rub down his arms and brought them closer to his chest because the coolness of my skin had lowered the temperature. "It's a bit chilly in here James. Do you have a window open?"

"No. It doesn't feel that cold to me," James replied to his father. He tilted his head to the side a little - a slight, unnoticeable gesture - as he pondered about my existence… or about the room temperature, I don't know. Hopefully, it was the former. If James's father noticed the change in the temperature maybe James would be convinced that I was real.

"It feels really cold here," Mr Potter frowned a little. "Who were you talking to?" How was he going to answer that one? I looked around his room and stopped when I spotted the owl. The owl was in it's cage, watching me. It could see me? I didn't have time to explore my hypothesis because James sent me a worried look.

"The owl," I told him, I knew that Mr Potter couldn't here me. "Say you were talking to the owl."

"I was talking to Shadow," James replied sending me a grateful look which I returned with a smile. Mr Potter raised his eyebrows at James before looking at the owl, Shadow. What a nice name, it suited a completely black-coloured bird. "Okay then son, as long as you haven't hidden anyone up here. Goodnight." Mr Potter seemed to find his words amusing as he let out a few chuckles. How ironic.

"Night dad!" James called after him and then turned to me. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it. Besides, it was kind of my fault." I nodded my head once at him and then walked out of the door. "Goodnight James." I Quickly left the house and headed to the local library. It was time to see what really happened to me, maybe then I'd find some clues as to why I was a ghost.

**A/N: So, longer chapter. :D I'm planning on making them longer. This is the first story I've written that comes really easy to me. Once again, thank you to all of my reviewers and the people who have added this story to their favourites and story alert lists.**

**A special thanks to: **_foot-prints-on-the-ceiling _(sorry it wouldn't let me put the full stops in), who was understanding about my small break and _Lily Witchcraft_, who was honest in her opinion of my story.

**Okay shutting up. :P**

**Constructive Criticism welcome here! - I'd love to know how I could improve.**


	6. The library, Evidence and Owls

**5: The Library, Evidence and Owls**

_It was time to see what really happened to me, maybe then I'd find some clues as to why I was a ghost._

The library seemed just the same as it used to be when I was younger; me and Tuney used to come here every Sunday. I remember the long hours I spent reading, Petunia always used to rush me, she was never one for books. I took a deep breath out of habit and entered the library. It didn't take me long to locate the newspapers but it took me quite a bit longer the find the article that contained my death. I knew roughly what happened: I had drowned. It's funny - most people would have thought that drowning was a violent way to die - but in my last moments alive I was peaceful. Everything was serene and soothing. Of course the moments before that weren't as calm; I had panicked, the long weeds had got caught around my legs, they wouldn't come loose. I remember the desperate need for air, the hope for the surface. It never came. I vaguely remember floating towards the bottom of the river and then…nothing. Awhile later I had broken through the surface but I had felt strange, distant. It had felt like I was dreaming, disconnected from reality. I had seen my drenched sister crying and screaming for help, looking frantically into the water. I had wanted to go to her and tell her that everything was fine, that I was alright but something had held me back. I don't know what…

As I sifted through the newspaper clippings I came across my story, it was a very brief report. I had made the front page of the newspaper. In a massive, bold font the title read:

**'DROWNING OF 11 YEAR OLD GIRL DISTRAUGHTS ALL'**

Underneath the headline was a big picture of me, mum and Petunia and a caption that read: _'The Evans family: (from left) Lily, Emma and Petunia.'_ The photo had been taken a month before I had died; I remember the day. We were at the park having a picnic, it had been sweltering and I had gotten sunburnt. I ran my eyes down the paper briefly and noted who had written the article, someone called Alan Jones. He had seemed to think that the few words to describe my death were necessary. His story read:

"_A selfless act of heroism left eleven-year-old Lily Evans dead in The River Fresh, Surrey, yesterday at 3:35p.m._

_Lily Evans had drowned whilst out playing with her sister, Petunia (13) at the local park in the neighbourhood. The two sisters had been playing close to the river when their ball fell in. Petunia Evans had fallen into the water whilst reaching down the side of the riverbank for the ball. Lily, who had noticed her sister's distress, jumped in after her with the intention of saving her. Eyewitnesses report that Lily got her sister to safety before she started to struggle in the water._

_'It was horrifying!' said Mrs June Hall, who was having a picnic with her husband at the time. 'It all happed so quickly. As soon as I saw what was happening I called an ambulance. My husband went to see what he could do to help but it was too late for the girl.'_

_'All I could hear was Petunia's screams and the wail of the ambulance,' a friend of the family, Hannah Lamb said. 'It just doesn't seem real, I've known both Lily and Petunia since I was a baby, we grew up together.'_

_'Lily's death was tragic,' Mandy Fountain, a police officer and close friend of Lily's mother said. 'It has had an impact on the whole neighbourhood and even more on her family. The police are doing everything to keep the children away from the river. Hopefully Lily's death will prevent others from playing by the water.'_

_The brave act of Lily Evans was not in vain as she saved her sister from the same cruel fate that she has suffered. People mourn today the loss of the bright and perky girl who never had a bad word to say about anyone._

_By Alan Jones"_

It was a nice article, I had to admit, but what saddened me was the fact that people were mourning my death; I didn't feel dead, in fact, I was happy for the first time in years and that was all down to James Potter. Speaking of James, he was another mystery, he could see me… why and how? There must be a reason for all of this, a reason for everything. I wanted to know why I came back as a ghost. If I had had the choice I would have preferred to stay dead… rested, unless everyone turned into a ghost when they died, but then wouldn't I be able to see them? I got up from the chair I was sitting in, concentrated and snatched up the newspaper. There was no use in thinking about questions that couldn't be answered.

On my way back to the house, I realised that James had never told me what time to meet him in the morning. I looked down at my watch out of habit; it still read the same as all those years ago: 3:35p.m. I sighed in frustration and walked more briskly to my destination. I had spent quite a long time at the library, but not enough, as it was still early in the morning. As soon as I got to the street I paused, was it too early for me to arrive? I didn't want to intrude, although, I had been intruding before James came home, but that was different: nobody used to see me. I made up my mind when I saw the light on in James room; he was awake then? I made an effort to speed up my pace and headed over to the house.

When I entered his bedroom, James was already dressed and alert. He was sitting at his desk with a quill in his hand, deep in thought. I cleared my throat to announce my presence and I smiled when James jumped.

"Good morning, Lily. You're back," he grinned at me. "Did you find what you were looking for?" What I was looking for? Oh, yeah, the newspaper. I had been momentarily distracted by his smile.

"Yep," I waved the newspaper in front of me, "here it is." James seemed more interested now as I passed the article over. I waited patiently while he read. Every so often a puzzled expression came over his face but it disappeared as quickly as it came. After he had finished reading, James stared at his desk for a while. I fidgeted, the wait was getting too long. I wanted to know what he thought about the article. James let out an aspirated sigh.

"You died when you were 11 years old?" he finally spoke up.

"Yes."

"You drowned? In the River Fresh at the local park?"

Now it was my time to sigh: "Yes."

"This was five years ago?"

What was it with all the questions? "Yes! It's all in the article!" I had spoken harsher than I had wanted to and seeing the shock on James's face made me regret it; I quickly apologised to him. James rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

"No, I'm sorry," he let out an angry sigh. "I just wish I knew why I'm the only one who can see you… This article proves you're real - or were real - but why can't my family see you? They should be able to: they're magic too!"

"I don't know, James," I replied in a soft quiet voice, "I wish I knew too. I have loads of questions that I need answering as well." James half-smiled at me before pushing the newspaper aside to free the piece of parchment that he was writing on before I came in the room. "What's that?" I asked, curious.

"What?" James seemed a little surprised. I motioned to the paper laying on his desk. "Oh, this? It's a letter. I'm writing to my best friend Sirius." His words unintentionally stung me. Best friend? I was being silly; James had barely known me a day, of course I wouldn't be his best friend but there was something inside of me hoping that I was.

"Why don't you ring him instead?" he frowned at me in confusion so I continued. "It would be easier-" Still a blank look. "-using…the phone."

"Ooh, the telephone? Sorry, I'm not use to all the Muggle terms," he looked sideways at me, there was a twinkle in his eye. "This," he gestured to the letter, "is a wizard's way of communication, and it is easy especially if you have a reliable owl."

"You send your letters by owls?" I blurted out.

James just laughed at me: "Yeah, that's why I have Shadow here; she's very-" I looked over to where James was staring, his owl was looking directly at me, following ever move I was making. James cocked his head to the side in thought. "It seems that I'm not the only one who can see you, Lily." Now James frowned deeply and pulled his eyebrows together in confusion. "There is one thing I don't get though."

"What's that?" I asked. Nothing made sense anymore, didn't he realise that?

"If you died when you where eleven…then why do you look like you're a lot older?" I looked down at myself in shock; I suppose I did look older than eleven. "You look around my age…"

**A/N: Thank you once again to my reviewers and the people who have added this story to story alert and their favourites list.**

**Phew, I'm not exactly used to writing newspaper articles and since nobody suggested a good headline you're stuck with my boring one. :P**

**Constructive Criticism welcome here! - I'd love to know how I could improve.**


	7. Magic and Clues

**6: Magic and Clues**

_"If you died when you where eleven…then why do you look like you're a lot older?" I looked down at myself in shock; I suppose I did look older than eleven. "You look around my age…"_

There were a lot more questions swimming around in my head now. I had grown older? Why? Weren't you supposed to stop growing after you died, even if you were a ghost? Did that mean I wasn't really dead? Or was I just abnormal? I knew I was a little bit different; I used to do strange things that didn't have any reasonable explanations. I used to make the flowers at the park grow and move, Tuney used to hate me doing that, she used to be scared. I definitely needed answers now, I couldn't continue existing without knowing what had happened to me. I was scared of what I had become, but also grateful. If I hadn't died, I would've never met James.

"How is that possible?" it was James who broke the silence, "I've never heard of an aging ghost!"

"If you don't know then I definitely wouldn't know." James raised his eyebrows at me as I finished what I was going to say. "I didn't even know that ghosts existed until I became one."

"Hmm, yeah, but don't Muggles tell ghost stories all of the time? They try to scare people with them, don't they?"

"I've read loads of ghost stories but that's what I used to think they were: stories."

James laughed for a while. "Muggles are so weird sometimes…no offence Lily." James suddenly turned serious, "I'll ask my dad later if he has heard of an aging ghost before. He'll probably know if there are such things." Was he doubting my existence again? Maybe I wasn't a ghost after all… maybe I was something different.

"Maybe I'm not a ghost," I voiced my thoughts, hoping that I didn't sound stupid to him.

"Maybe, but you do look like a ghost to me. Perhaps something interfered when you died," James ran a hand through his hair as he answered me. Something interfered?

"Like what?" I didn't really know what he was going on about, I guessed it was a wizard thing.

"A curse, charm…magical object, I don't know, it was just a suggestion," James shrugged his shoulders, his eyes looked directly into mine.

"What, something could actually affect my death? Well, whatever it was or is, it doesn't matter; I'm already dead."

"You're a pessimist, Lily. You're not interested in what hap- Wait!" I jumped at James's sudden outburst.

"What?"

"I think I've found a connection…" James's eyes grew wide as he looked over to his owl. "Was this your room?" That question seemed a little irrelevant to me.

"Yeah," I answered anyway.

"So, you spent most of your time in here?" he looked excited now, like he had figured everything out.

"More than any room in the house," I asked, my tone confused.

"That's just it!" I was missing something here. "I spend a lot of time here too - when I'm not at school - and so does Shadow, obviously. Maybe the reason why I can see you is connected to this room." I looked round in shock, scanning the room for evidence that I knew I wouldn't find.

"How? I mean what's so special about this room?"

"Time to revisit my curse and charms theory, I think," James picked up the newspaper again and placed it on a pile of text books that he had stacked on his bedside table. "I'll try to get some information out of my parents, discreetly. They will think I've gone mad if I tried to explain you to them."

Sometime later, James parents were up and dressed. The Potter household was hectic; James's father was rushing about, exclaiming loudly that he was going to be late for work, toast in one hand, coat in the other. On his way out he pecked his wife on the cheek and ruffled James hair and then he was gone. The house was strangely quite while I watched James eating his breakfast while his mother fussed about doing some housework. My eyes almost, if possible, bulged out of my sockets as Mrs Potter took out a wooden stick and waved it at the dirty dishes on the table to make them levitate over the sink. James looked over at me with a smug 'I told you so' look on his face.

"What are you smirking at?" Mrs Potter's tone was teasing as both me and James snapped our heads to look in her direction. James immediately made his face go blank.

"What?" he said in mock innocence. "I was just thinking to myself."

"Alright," his mother laughed for a moment. "Are you finished?" Mrs Potter gestured to James plate, he nodded.

"That was lovely thanks. I missed your cooking while I was at school. Your cooking beats the house-elves any day," Mrs Potter looked pleased with James's compliments and took her stick…(wand?) out again and carefully made the plate float over to the others and neatly stacked it on top of them.

"That's nice to know," she smiled at James. "Go get ready to go out. We won't be out long, I want to finish the Polyjuice Potion as soon as possible."

"Why do you even need Polyjuice Potion, mum?" James looked expectantly at her.

"You know I can't tell you that! Official Ministry information," Mrs Potter looked proudly at her son. "You're clever, I'm sure you can work it out." James just sighed and rolled his eyes while he stood up and stretched.

"I don't see why you can't tell me, it's not like I'm going to tell everyone."

"I know, but you can't be too careful. Now hurry up or there will be a long queue."

As soon as James walked into his room, he started to make his bed. I watched him with some confusion and amusement, even I didn't make my bed every morning.

"What?" he asked me once he noticed the look I was giving him. I looked pointedly at him and then to the now made bed. James raised an eyebrow at me. "What's wrong with making my bed?"

"It's just a little strange for a teenager to be making their bed without being told," I finally spoke up with an amused smile on my face.

"What?" James frowned at me. "Not to me, besides, it's less work for my mum to do then."

"Oh, I suppose that's true. I guess I have this stereotypical view on how teenage boys should behave," I laughed for a while, James soon joined me.

"Nah, I don't fit into the stereotypes," he gave me a sly look, "although, my friend, Peter, does. He's really untidy and unorganised, it doesn't help that I have to share a dormitory with him at school; he piles all of his junk on my bed!" I giggled at his rant and he chuckled a bit.

"Sounds like fun," I said, a little sarcastically.

"Oh no, it is fun sometimes, when he doesn't litter up my space that is."

"So, when do you have to go back there?" I asked, dreading the answer. I probably would have to stay behind, alone. If that was the case, I wanted to know what happened to be before he went back.

"Hm? Oh, in about a week or so, next Sunday; I'm only off for the holidays," James looked and me then frowned, his eyes widened. "Oh, don't look so upset Lily! You can come with me, I doubt anyone will be able to see you as only I have been able to so far."

"Really?" my facial expression was hopeful. I was so glad that I didn't have to stay here with nobody to talk to, also, I think that I've grown attached to James, I wanted to know more about him.

"Of course!" James flashed a wide grin at me, it showed of his teeth. "I wouldn't have offered if I didn't mean it, Lily. Oh! I have to get ready now, we've been up here a while and my mum will soon get impatient," James rolled his eyes before tilting his head slightly. "Hm, I wonder if you'll actually be able to use the Floo Network… You're going to have to come with me through the fireplace with me, I think, that's if you can."

"Come through the fireplace? You'll get burnt!" I felt a little embarrassed as James laughed at me.

"Oh, Lily," James shook his head slowly, "you're just going to have to start expecting the unexpected. I've done quite a few stupid things before, but I'm not stupid enough to walk through fire if I knew it would burn me." James smiled widely at me and I was reassured. I focused and grabbed James hand and pulled him towards the door. I had found out a while back that, I could touch and interact with things when I concentrated. I didn't want to move things around in front of people who couldn't see me though; it didn't matter how much I wanted people to notice me, I didn't want to scare them. Another thing I noticed a while back was that when I touched things, I could make them invisible and ghost-like like me. It was helpful when I wanted to move objects around from place to place. I had to concentrate for both things; if I wanted to, I could probably turn James invisible.

As we made our way downstairs, we - James - were greeted by Mrs Potter standing at the bottom of the stairs, tapping her foot impatiently. She looked down at her wristwatch and sighed.

"Come on!" she sighed again. "What on earth have you been doing up there?" James just smiled at her. "I've got the Floo powder. Hurry up!"


	8. Floo Powder, Diagon Alley and Sirius

**7: Floo Power, Diagon Alley and Sirius Black**

"_Come on!" she sighed again. "What on earth have you been doing up there?" James just smiled at her. "I've got the Floo powder. Hurry up!"_

True to his word, the strange green fire illuminating the fireplace didn't burn things. James's mother had went through the fire first shouting "Diagon Alley" as she disappeared. As soon as she went, James turned towards me and held out his hand.

"It may be best if you do this at the same time as me," he said in a reassuring voice. "I don't know if you'll be able to use the Floo Network but it's worth a try."

"Alright." I nodded to the pot that contained the so-called Floo Powder, "Do I need to used that?" James looked to where I was nodding and hesitated for a second.

"I'm not sure…a 'ghost' has never used the Floo Network before." James fiddled with the edge of his robe for a minute before speaking again. "We could experiment with it, I suppose." He grinned at me and reached for the powder pot.

"Thanks," I said as I took a handful of the stuff, "So, I just shout 'Diagon Alley' and throw it into the fire?"

"Yeah, c'mon, we'll do it together." He winked at me before leading me into the fire, we both shouted "Diagon Alley" and we disappeared in a brilliant flash of light.

At the other end of the fireplace, there was a whirl of colours as everything zoomed by very fast. If I was still alive, I think I would have felt a little sick and claustrophobic at the sensation. We were both finally spat out of a different fireplace, one that seemed to belong to an old bookshop. The musty air hit me immediately, giving the little shop a homely feel. I could almost taste the ancient books on my dead tongue. I got an excited thrill as I took in the atmosphere; this wasn't any ordinary bookshop, it was a magical one. Books were flying around in all directions - it was mesmerising. I almost lost myself in all the magic, brushing my hands along the fragile paper of the books. There was such a wide variety - hardbacks, paperbacks and even books that were alive. I almost forgot the main purpose for being here until James caught my attention. He gave me a conspicuous look and gestured with his head that we should exit the shop.

As soon as we were out of the overwhelming shop, James lent close to me a whispered, "I can't really talk to you here without attracting attention to myself, so you're just going to have to stay close to me and ask any questions you have later." I nodded sharply in reply before hurrying up to match my pace with James's quicker one as we made our way to another shop. I couldn't help looking around in fascination as we half-ran half-walked down the alleyway. All of the shops seemed to scream magic, I could confidently say that I was a believer now. If I never found out what had happened to me as I died, then I had definitely found a place where I would like to live as a ghost. James finally came to a halt as we reached a creepy-looking store. The windows were slightly darkened with grime, covered in cobwebs containing a spider - big enough to make your skin craw - clinging to them. The items on display in the window, however, looked very sinister and dark.

"Wow, this place is eerie!" I whispered. James nodded his head slightly in reply, not enough to be obvious but enough for me to notice. James took a deep breath and grabbed the handle and walked through the door. James's mother was right, there was a queue but his mum was quite near the front of it.

"James!" Mrs Potter called as she spotted her son. "I'm sorry that I didn't wait for you but I really needed to get here quickly. As you can see the queue's massive now."

"That's fine, I knew where you were anyway."

"I saw Sirius earlier." That caught James's attention.

"Where? Who was he with?" James asked consecutively.

"He was standing outside Olivanders. He was by himself, I think."

"Do you mind if I go see if he's still there?"

"Invite him around for dinner if he is." Mrs Potter offered James a smile before playfully pushing him towards the door. "Hurry up, he won't be there forever. Meet me back at the bookstore." James grinned rather widely and rushed out of the shop, earning a few exasperated sighs from the nearby customers.

I ran alongside James as we made our way down the alleyway again. James startled me slightly as he yelled loudly to a boy by a shop that appeared to be selling wands.

"Sirius! HEY SIRIUS!" he yelled louder and finally caught the boy in question's attention.

"JAMES!" the handsome boy bellowed back and waved his hands, his smile showed off his teeth. Sirius ran to meet James half-way and fiercely hugged him. "It feels like I haven't seen you in years!" he said as James laughed.

"It's only been a few days, Padfoot." Padfoot? That's a strange nickname, it must be a wizard thing.

"Yeah, but when you live in my house, a couple of days seems like a couple of decades!" Sirius laughed.

"Hm yeah, well, you're invited to my house for dinner today. What do you say?"

"Of course! I'll take any opportunity to get out of my old house!" Sirius grinned once more and then suddenly froze. I also froze as he laid his eyes on me. Out of the corner of my eye I saw James take a few steps back to look at Sirius curiously. Sirius focused on me for only a few seconds but it felt like more than that. My moment of hope shattered as his grey eyes looked away as if he had never seen me.

"What is it?" James asked Sirius while glancing at me.

"I thought I saw…" Sirius paused and looked in my general direction again but not directly at me this time. "Never mind, I must be seeing things."

"No, what did you think you saw?"

"Something caught my eye over there." He pointed in my direction. "It was a bit ghostlike, to be honest, but not a ghost. I don't know." Sirius shrugged his shoulders before laughing it off.

"Okay," something in James's voice made me think that they were going to be discussing this later. "Come on, my mother's waiting for us."

On the way back to the bookstore, I learned a lot about two people called Remus and Peter from James and Sirius's conversation. As they happily chattered away, both boys kept sneaking glances at me; Sirius just looked vaguely in my direction, as if he couldn't focus on me, whereas James's eyes looked directly into mine. My hopes for someone else being able to see me were replenished. Even if Sirius couldn't see me fully, I was grateful someone else could sense me. Maybe this was a key to discovery.

* * *

**A/N:** First thing's first, I'm really, really very sorry that I haven't updated for months. I could make up excuses for not updating, but truthfully, I lost interest for a while, I lacked the inspiration to continue. All is well now though. :) I'm working on multiple projects at the moment and I never know which one to add to at certain times.

I'd like to thank all those who are still following my story and those who review - thank you! Feel free to leave any constructive criticism, or to correct any errors I may have made. =)


	9. Further Theories and Another Member

**8: Further Theories and Another Member of the Club**

_My hopes for someone else being able to see me were replenished. Even if Sirius couldn't see me fully, I was grateful someone else could sense me. Maybe this was a key to discovery._

If I wasn't sure before, I was definitely sure now; Sirius could see me, if only vaguely out of the corner of his eye. He was shooting suspicious looks in my direction every time James wasn't looking. Maybe he thought he was imagining it and didn't want to draw attention to himself, but he kept peering at me discreetly. James seemed to cotton on to what Sirius was doing as we made our way towards the bookshop we had first arrived in. He caught my eye and looked happily at his friend.

"You can see her can't you?" he asked suddenly. Sirius looked up abruptly and tried to cover his surprise of being caught out.

"See who?" he spoke up, "What are you on about, mate?"

James rolled his eyes before answering with, "Don't play dumb, you know what I'm on about." Sirius looked back at me again and then turned a questioning gaze onto James.

"I guess you can see it too then? You've made me look like an idiot for the last ten minutes or so. I thought I was going mad for a moment there. I bet you've been silently laughing at me this whole time, haven't you?" Sirius mock glared at his friend before grinning widely and looking in my direction again. "It's been following us this whole time…" I felt a bit insulted by being called "it", ghosts had genders too! James saw my expression and smirked at me.

"She seems to be a little insulted at that, mate," James said light-heartedly. Sirius looked sharply at James then - so he didn't see my whole form then, only partially I'm guessing right.

"She?" Sirius asked James. Sirius then looked back at me as if he was trying to see me more clearly.

"Yeah," James replied. "What does she look like to you then?" I was beginning to get a little frustrated about the two of them talking about me as if I wasn't there and couldn't hear them.

"Just a blur, maybe not even that. It's like I can see her more out of the corner of my eye but when I look directly at her, it's as if she's not really there, you know?" Sirius explained slowly, as if he wasn't really sure himself. I'd had enough of being ignored at this point so I butted into the conversation…well, one half of the conversation since Sirius couldn't hear me.

"I'm standing right here, you know." I waved my hands in front of James's face and he took a step back to avoid them. "And I also have a name, so use it!" I was so used to not having anyone to talk to for a very long time, so now that I did have someone to talk to I didn't want them to ignore me.

"Sorry," James said meekly and grimaced in my direction. Sirius sent James a look of confusion but he ignored it. I sighed before offering a small smile. It wasn't really James's fault that Sirius couldn't really see me properly or the fact that I didn't want to lose what I had recently gained; I was just expressing my feelings to the only person that I could.

After some explanations later and a small rest on a nearby bench outside the bookshop, Sirius was fully caught up on my predicament. He was just as puzzled and clueless about the situation as James was. It wasn't enough that I was a ghost but now I was an anomaly ghost too? Great. This was always my life's ambition…not! Whilst I mulled over what kind of ghost I was, Sirius began to question James about me.

"So you found her in your garden yesterday?" he asked while pulling his longer-than-average hair back from his face.

"Yeah," James confirmed, he had an intense look on his face as if he was studying me…he probably was actually.

"She said she's been there ever since you first started sixth year at Hogwarts, and your parents didn't see her? They haven't sensed her, at all?" Sirius sounded more skeptical as he went on. At James's nod, Sirius scoffed. "How do you know that she isn't some Death Eater spy trying to get information from your parents?" James and I simultaneously frowned at Sirius's last question. I could understand Sirius being a little doubtful of my existence, but to accuse me of being associated with a bunch of heartless murderers was quite insulting.

"I don't believe that," James answered in a quiet but sure voice. Sirius raised his eyebrows in disbelief.

"Really? And why's that then? Have you even told your mum and dad about her?" Sirius let out a breath upon seeing James's uncomfortable squirm. "Look mate, I'm not trying to find faults with this girl, it's just that she could be anyone. I'm just trying to look out for you." James's facial expression softened then.

"I know. I know you are." James ran a hand down his face and then ran it back up through his hair, making it look windswept. "I saw the newspaper article - she's the real deal."

"All right," Sirius simply replied. We all sat in silence after that. It wasn't a uncomfortable silence per se but to some extent it was; I could tell Sirius still had some more points to make about me and my existence but he was holding back.

By the time Mrs Potter had bought all she needed in Diagon Alley, James and Sirius had started talking again, but not about me. They were discussing a game called Quidditch; I couldn't really keep up with the conversation but they sounded really enthusiastic about it. Apparently James was something called a "Chaser" in this game and Sirius was a "Beater", although I didn't really like the sound of that. I had tuned them out after awhile as I realised that I would never know what they were talking about. They were just like a couple of football fanatics talking, but I guess sport is sport no matter if it was a magical one. Sirius jumped to his feet as soon as he caught sight of Mrs Potter.

"Hello Mrs P!" He moved to hug the woman. "Thanks for inviting me over for dinner. It's nice getting out of that old house of mine."

"Don't worry dear, it's nice to see you. You can come around for tea anytime you like." Mrs Potter smiled maternally at Sirius before herding him and James back towards the book store. I would never get used to this place. It was such a lovely chaotic store but if one was to look closer at what was going on they could tell that it was in a slightly organised way. It reminded me of my mother's old work desk; she used to clutter the thing up with paperwork, pens and pencils but she still knew where everything was. I was so focused on my surroundings that I wasn't looking where I was going, it wasn't until I felt the familiar unpleasant tingle go through me, and Sirius's loud outburst of "Merlin's beard!" did I realised that I had just walked straight through him.

"What? What is it?" Mrs Potter asked as she looked at Sirius sharply. I winced in sympathy for the boy as I knew that couldn't have felt pleasant for him, and then turned towards James to give him a sheepish look. James gave me a mock scolding look in return but then shifted his attention to Sirius and his mother.

"Uh, nothing. Nothing," Sirius replied too quickly. He coughed a little, trying to avoid Mrs Potter's scrutiny. After a moment, she rolled her eyes and shook her head as she carried on walking. Sirius hovered back a bit to talk to James. "Tell ghost-girl not to walk through me again," he hissed in low tones. Sirius shook himself as if he was trying to brush off any lingering sensation from the incident that he had experienced, before walking confidently behind Mrs Potter. James gave me a raised-eyebrows look of amusement before quickly following his friend. This was going to be a long day, I could just tell.

We used the Floo Network again. The strange green fire licked at my skin but didn't harm me. I had more time to appreciate the magical mode of transport this time. It made me wonder what other places I could go to if I wanted. Those thoughts were quickly brushed aside as I was spat out, unceremoniously, onto the Potter's kitchen floor. It wasn't long before everyone had arrived at their destination. Even though it was nice seeing that little portion of the Wizarding World, it was also nice and comforting to be returning to a familiar place. Magic was still a little overwhelming for me and a quiet place to get my head around everything that had happened today would be beneficial. I left Sirius and James to their own company and went outside into the garden where I could figure out what to do next with all the knowledge I had gathered today. I didn't know if I would find anything, but I know that things were about to get interesting around here, especially now Sirius was added to the mix.

* * *

**A/N: **This is like, over a year late. I'm sorry, I've had a lot of problems with this story, the main one being lack of inspiration. I don't know how regularly I will update this story but I definitely won't leave it a year again.

Enjoy!


	10. Established Connection

**9: An Established Connection and the Hunt For More Leads**

_I didn__'__t know if I would find anything, but I know that things were about to get interesting around here, especially now Sirius was added to the mix. _

After an hour or so of pondering in the garden, I returned to the house to seek out James and Sirius. I hadn't got any further with my theories, so I'd decided to confer with the two people who had more experience with magic and strange happenings.

For the first time in quite a while, I was hesitant to enter my old family home. I didn't really know Sirius and I didn't want to intrude on the time he got to spend with his friend. I was also a little mistrusting of him. I was a ghost, or something along the lines, so I wasn't too scared of getting hurt but I'd also found some comfort of being hidden when I was in this state. I quickly made up my mind and I climbed the stairs to hear them talking about me. The two boys were very curious about my appearance from beyond the grave. Nothing new there then; I was just as curious myself but I didn't really want to think of myself as dead. I still existed. I could still think for myself and move about. That was all I needed to believe that I was still alive, just not as alive as I'd like to be.

"This is extremely weird!" I heard Sirius exclaim as I neared James's bedroom door. "And you're sure your parents can't see her?"

"Positive," James replied earnestly. "My mother even walked straight through her. Dad certainly could sense her somewhat. I mean, he noticed a temperature drop in my room."

"Are you sure she's not some Death Eater spy? A new type of magic maybe?" Sirius wondered out loud. I crept closer to the bedroom door to peak through the gap. James was facing me, but didn't see me. I, on the other hand, got to witness James's expressions after Sirius's comment. He went from alarmed to thoughtful to denial. Good. He couldn't possibly believe I was involved in anything like that. Then again, I suppose my situation happened at very bad time. Sirius was right to be suspicious. Even if I knew I was innocent.

"No!" James said abruptly. "She couldn't be. She's too authentic to be a fake. She didn't even know the wizarding world existed."

Sirius gave James a pointed look. "_That _could be faked," he let out an exasperated breath and ran his hand through his straggly hair. "But you're right, that ghost thing is just…just _weird!" _

"Tell me about it," James grinned ruefully. I chose that moment to step into the room. James caught sight of me straight away but Sirius still had his back to me. Sirius must have noticed James looking at me as he quickly turned around only to jump back in surprise.

"Merlin's beard!" he exclaimed, wide-eyed.

"You can see her now?!" James asked excitedly, hope seeping into his voice. I guess he needed proof that he wasn't mad or imagining me.

"Yeah!" Sirius replied, still a little taken aback by my sudden appearance. "How long have you been standing there?" he finally addressed me.

I adopted an innocent expression before saying, "Not that long." I didn't want them to know I was eavesdropping on their conversation, Sirius already didn't trust me that much.

"Why can you now see her?" James inquired. "Is she clear this time?"

"Yeah, she's not blurry anymore," Sirius replied looking at me in a cautious way. He still didn't trust me then, even after witnessing me for his own eyes. I rolled my eyes and shot Sirius an annoyed look.

"I can hear you, you know!" I shouted in indignation. "You don't need to talk about me in front of me."

"What are you going to do about it ghost-girl?" he shot back teasingly but I could tell that it didn't come easy to him. His eyes still held apprehension in them. I crossed my arms across my chest to complete the angry persona I had taken on. James looked at me warily before continuing his line of questioning, "Why now? You couldn't see her before but you can now and why can't my parents see her?" Everyone in the room looked thoughtful for awhile but nobody came up with any answers. Back to square one, I guess.

We were all still discussing my ghostly problem after some time had passed and we weren't getting any nearer to the truth.

"Well, we're about the same age, or what age Lily would be is she were alive," Sirius started, "what if that has to do with anything?" James and I shot Sirius disbelieving looks. "Maybe not, that's stupid and it doesn't explain the situation that happened with your dad."

"Well, we've all been male so far," James said, "you, me and my dad. I'm sure my mum didn't feel anything. Maybe this is an ability that only guys have?"

"That's even more ridiculous than his idea!" I retorted, "Did we or did we not visit a place that was swarming with male wizards today and not one of them looked twice at me! No, it has to be something to do with this house."

"Well, now we're getting somewhere, ghost-girl," Sirius grinned whilst stretching in his chair.

"Maybe something's holding you here in this house," James said thoughtfully.

"I does always lead back to here," I replied with a serious tone. "My drowning, my family home," I laughed humorously, "my room."

"You're room!" Sirius shouted. He jumped out of his chair and smiled as if he'd found the answer to the universe. "Of course!" I wasn't the only one who wasn't following as James looked just as puzzled as I was feeling.

"What about my room?" he asked.

"I once read a book about a haunting - yeah, no need to look so surprised - I got bored, but anyway sometimes a ghost can leave an imprint on the place they visited the most that when they died they'd leave some sort of magical residue that someone else could pick up if they spent enough time in the room."

"You read all that in a book?" James said, looking skeptical.

"Yeah!" Sirius replied enthusiastically, "That also explains why some muggles are able to experience haunting."

"Magical residue?" I asked in a muted voice.

"Yeah," Sirius said quietly, "You must have been a witch."

"I was thinking about this room yesterday," James said, "I was thinking that there must have been a curse or a magical object involved."

"Both theories make sense, Prongs," Sirius replied. "The book never mentioned anything about aging ghosts." Sirius shrugged his shoulders.

"So we're actually no closer to finding out the truth at all?" I asked.

"I wouldn't say that we weren't closer, just that there's more pieces to this puzzle than we first though," James said reassuringly.

"When we get back to Hogwarts, we'll be able to find out more," Sirius added.

"Wait until you see the library!" James lopsidedly grinned, "You're gonna love it!"

I was going to reply to the two wizards but Mrs Potter beat me to it, "Boys, dinner's ready!" she shouted up from the bottom of the stairs.

I decided to join the Potters and Sirius for dinner. It was a quiet affair. The fourth but empty place didn't go amiss either. Mrs Potter kept looking towards the front door as if someone was to come walking in any minute and I'd bet my ghost-hood that she was waiting for Mr Potter.

"No sign from dad yet?" James asked between bites. He had noticed his mother's tension too then.

"No," she replied abruptly but looked apologetic towards her son afterwards.

"He's probably caught up in work again," James said reassuringly but unconvincingly, "he'll be back later today, sheepish that he lost track of time, you'll see." Mrs Potter just smiled thinly and continued pushing her food around her plate.

"This is really nice, Mrs P!" Sirius broke the silence, "It's a hell of a lot better than what I'd get at home." Mrs Potter smiled a real smile this time.

"It's nice having you round," she said, "it keeps James quiet and mostly out of the way."

"Oi!"

"Of course that's when the two of you don't come up with crazy ideas and half-thought out pranks," the matriarch of the Potter household teased.

"True," James admitted. "Sirius is just a bad influence on me."

"Hey!" it was Sirius's time to object. I just sat back and enjoyed the family bickering. It's been a long time since I had the chance to experience such a bantering atmosphere. Of course mum, dad and Tuney had moved on after 5 years after my death but there was still a forced happiness within my own family and I couldn't stand it. I just wish I could tell my family that I was still around and they were allowed to be happy again.

The rest of the family meal was eaten in silence and Mr Potter still hadn't shown up. Mrs Potter was getting more and more worried by the second and I could tell James and Sirius was too, they were making me really worried too. James's dad was due back about two hours ago from what I could gather but the Potters hadn't heard any word from him. From what I could gather, the man's job was a dangerous one and all the stories that James had told me about Voldemort and the Death Eaters was coming back to haunt me. What if there was trouble with them? What if Mr Potter was injured? I didn't really know the man but from what I had seen he seemed like a really nice one. When it was apparent that Mr Potter wasn't joining the rest of us for dinner, Mrs Potter sent the boys upstairs whilst she cleaned up, carefully coving up what would have been Mr Potter's dinner and sticking into the fridge.

James's mood changed dramatically once he was in his room again. I didn't really know what to say to him or what to do so I just kept quiet. Sirius followed my lead for a while but ending up muttering empty encouragements to his friend.

"Come on, mate," he started, "I'm sure there's just a little hold up at the Ministry, and he'll be home before you know it." James stayed quiet so I tried my approach.

"What actually does your dad do?" I asked. It would give me answers whilst hopefully take James's mind off of the present.

"He's a Auror, a dark wizard catcher," he elaborated when I gave him a blank look.

"Aurors are kind of the main defence against Death Eaters and Voldemort," Sirius explained.

"And your dad was out fighting them today?" I prompted. I was only after information now, I always felt out of the loop when anything about the Wizarding world came up.

"That wasn't the plan today," James admitted.

"So maybe Sirius is right," I said, "maybe he is just caught up at work?"

"I don't think so," James replied. "I feel like something has started."

"What do you mean by that, mate?" Sirius asked gently.

"I don't know just a feeling."

"Well, don't take it too seriously," Sirius said in a teasing voice, "you never were any good at divination!" I noticed James grinning at that, like I'd missed another inside joke.

"Yeah," he said through his smile but it didn't quite reach his eyes. Was being psychic part of being a wizard? I hope not, otherwise James's comments would be more worrying. Mr Potter would be fine, wouldn't he?

* * *

A/N: First of all, I'm really, really sorry for not updating in like...YEARS! If anyone is still even following the story that is. I don't really have a valid excuse, just that real life, my job and my introduction to other fandoms have gotten in the way. I haven't written anything in ages either so I may be a little rusty so be gentle, that being said, I admit that I'm an awful, awful person for waiting so long before updating so feel free to haul abuse at me =P

Honestly though, I'm still happy to receive constructive criticism and feedback.

Thank you if you are still reading and still loyal, I wouldn't have blamed you if you'd have abandoned the story.


	11. Family and Important Duties

**10: Family and Important Duties**

_Mr Potter would be fine, wouldn't he? _

Way after Sirius had to leave to go home, after the reassurances for his best friend, and after a long and painstaking wait, the two remaining Potters got some news they were hoping for but not from the man they were hoping from. It wasn't necessarily good news, but it wasn't bad either. Mr Potter could still very well be in danger but at least the Potters were relieved to hear he was still alive. The way I had witnessed the news was…well, odd to say the least. The fireplace that I had used only this morning to travel through had sputtered to life with orange flames, rather than the green I'd just got used to. It must have been a normal happenstance for the two magical members of the household as they didn't look alarmed but rather, apprehensive of what was to come. The flames themselves had morphed into the face of a man well into his prime, with a neatly trimmed moustache and a stern expression.

"Mrs Potter?" the flames spoke in a no nonsense tone. At Mrs Potter's acknowledgement he continued with, "I bear news of your husband. He is in deep cover and won't be able to contact you. He is well, he sends his love."

"Thank you," Mrs Potter replied in relief, "when he didn't show…"

"Yes, I apologise for not contacting you sooner, Jennifer," the man said with a wan smile. "Take care now, these are dark times." And with that, he disappeared from the fire place. Mrs Potter seemed to collapse in relieve after that.

She smiled at James, "I'll be in my study, I have a feeling that the Ministry will be needing that Polyjuice potion a lot sooner than they thought." I watched as she gathered James up in a hug and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "Don't stay up too late," were her parting words.

Once we were back upstairs in my old room, James collapsed in a heap on his bed, ruffling the once neat golden covers. I suppose it didn't matter too much considering he'd be sleeping in them soon.

"See," I said with a smile, "You _were _worrying about nothing."

"I'm still going to worry, Lils," he said tiredly. It was then that I noticed the dark circles under his eyes. He had got up early today and stayed up late today and the night before but that didn't warrant the extent of the darkness around his eyes. I was then left to wonder how many times and how long James had to worry about his parents. They both led dangerous lives but if everything I heard over the last two days were anything to go on, everyone who knew about the Death Eaters had a right to be constantly worried. I was worried, even though I couldn't be killed again, at least I didn't think I could. I was worried for James and Jennifer and Mr Potter. They were all nice people, people who I wouldn't mind living with for the rest of my non-life.

Eager to hear some answers, I questioned James further on the topic, "So, what is a Polyjuice potion?"

He took his glasses off and ran his hands over his faces and eyes before replying with, "It's a potion that you drink that lets you take on the appearance of another person, if you have some hairs of that person that is. Although, I've known someone to have used toenail clippings." We both pulled a disgusted face at that. Ew, the hair part was bad enough but toenails?

"And why does your mother need to make some?"

"Now _that _I can't be sure on but I can only guess that the Ministry are finally cracking down on known Death Eaters and are doing their own spying on them," James said in a light tone. "Of course it's very dangerous and brave to imitate a Death Eater or a member of their family but at least the Ministry are getting somewhere," James lowered is voice before continuing with, "I want to be an Auror when I leave school."

"Aren't you scared you'll be killed?" I said apprehensively. If I was stuck like this, I didn't want my only friend to do dangerous and risky things that ended up with him getting killed. I've suffered enough loneliness for the past five years, I didn't want to go back to that existence. James made being a ghost that much bearable. I could temporarily forget that I'd died and my family couldn't see me anymore. James didn't seem to be following my line of thought though, as he laughed and grinned cheerfully.

"Nah! Well, a little but that's kind of the fun of it!" Now he was making me worried that my previous impression of him being insane was true. "We Gryffindors love a bit of adventure and danger, that's what separates us from the rest of the houses."

"Gryffindor?" I asked.

"Yeah, the school where I go to has four houses; Gryffindor, the best house ever, Ravenclaw, the smart people's house, Hufflepuff, they're cool I guess and then there are the Slytherins, I wouldn't be seen dead in their house. They're evil! Nearly all of the Death Eaters spawned from that hell." I didn't like the sound of that. I guess if I was alive and ever went to James's school I'd be put in Ravenclaw. I didn't want to boost but before I died, I was at the top of my class in most things. Then again, I didn't know much about Hufflepuff from the description James gave me but maybe I would have belonged there. I suppose given the way I died, some people may think I fitted into Gryffindor the best. I definitely didn't think I would be put in Slytherin though.

"So you're in Gryffindor, what about Sirius?"

"He's a Gryffindor too, although, most of his family are in Slytherin. He's the black sheep of the family," James said as he laughed to himself at yet another inside joke. At my look he elaborated with, "Sirius's last name is Black."

"Oh," I simply said. I didn't find it that funny.

"Yeah," James sobered up, "the poor guy's had it rough lately. He's family want him to start acting like a Black but Sirius is having none of it. He's told me many times before that he's going to leave home."

"Oh," I said again. I didn't really know what to reply to that.

"Anyway!" James said in a more chirpier tone, "I need to get some sleep if I'm to get up in the morning, so…" So it was that time again. I had a few hours to find something to keep me entertained until I returned at more sociable hours in the morning.

"Right," I said. "I'll come back in the morning." And with that I was out the door but not before I heard James wish me goodnight.

It was these hours that I really didn't know what to do with myself. I didn't know how I coped with it before. I was plenty entertained with my own company and people watching, either that or I had grown numb and didn't realise I was bored. If that was the case then James had revitalised me. He was a blessing in a messy- haired, glasses wearing, hazel-eyed disguise. I couldn't believe that I'd paid enough attention to realise that his eyes even _were _hazel in the two days I'd known him. Had it only really been two days? So much had happened that it seemed like days had pasted, weeks.

I inevitably found myself wandering back to the library, like I used to do every Sunday. Granted, I never came to the library this early on a Sunday ever. They wouldn't have been open but at least it was quiet and I had the place to myself, even if I did have to concentrate to turn over pages. I wanted to learn more about Hogwarts and the Wizarding world but I don't think they'd have the information I was looking for in a Surrey public library so I settled for something that I would be able to find. I quickly found the section I was looking for, the library hadn't changed much since I last come here with Tuney. The ghost and supernatural haunting section wasn't very big at all and I'd wager that most of the books claiming to contain facts were in fact a hoax. The things people did to get a thrill out of themselves. All of the books were on Muggle, as James called it, hauntings and weren't very insightful at all but they did have some titbits that I found enlightening. A lot of the books that I read claimed that ghosts hung around the place they were killed because they couldn't let go or get over their death. Maybe I couldn't let go so hard that I was still half alive and aging? That was silly, my body was buried in the cemetery. Apparently ghosts had no sense of time, which I agree with somewhat but that didn't explain why I was watching the clock, counting down the minutes until I could return to the Potter residence. I decided quite early to give up on looking for answers to my predicament. The authors of these books didn't know about magic, the world where ghosts were apparently the norm and therefore didn't offer much help. I needed to research from actual magic books and I knew where I could find some.

I felt a little bad sneaking back into my old house in the early hours of the morning. Well, I didn't feel guilty for spying on Jennifer Potter as she couldn't really see me but if James found me back in his house so early in the morning, or depending on how you viewed it, the middle of the night then I'd feel bad for betrayal his trust in me. I was about to go through his things after all. First though, curiosity got the best of me and I couldn't help myself but watch Mrs Potter at work in her study. Her grey-streaked dark brown hair was messily secured in a bun so it didn't accidentally fall into her cauldron or in her face whilst she was working. I thought the woman looked fairly pretty but her age was definitely showing on her face, and she, like James, had dark circles under her eyes too. It was no wonder if she worked into the early hours of the morning every night. The process in which she made her potion was methodical, as if she'd made it many times before and perhaps she had. It looked complicated to me nonetheless and I eventually grew bored and made my way upstairs to James's room.

I could just about make out all of the shapes and shadows within the room. I was lucky that the moon gently illuminated the way for me. James must have been tired to have left the curtains open. Even though I rarely made any noise these days, I still felt the urge to sneak and tiptoe about. If James could hear me speak clearly, then maybe he heard my actions just as clearly. I softly made my way over to James's desk where I could see a messily stacked set of books on. They all had interesting titles and covers but none of them looked like the sort of book I'd find answers from but I picked the first one from the pile up anyway. It was a leather-bound book of charms and enchantments with intricate decoration around the border and spine. If I couldn't get the answers I was after, I might as well make a start of learning everything I could about the Wizarding world, and with that thought, I took a deep breath, concentrated and opened the book.

I was so intrigued with the different charms there were that I lost track of time, it wasn't until James shifted in his sleep that I realised where I was. For a moment I could have believed I was back in time reading in my own house, my family just in the adjacent rooms but no, it was time I faced the fact that I wouldn't ever get that back. My attention turned to the sleeping boy just across the room from me. I felt a bit awkward being in the room whilst he was sleeping but I couldn't help but notice that he looked a lot younger and peaceful when he was asleep. His hair was messier than ever, probably from all of the tossing and turning he had been doing the time I was here. I was afraid that he had woken up once or twice but he always turned back over, still deep asleep. I turned back to the book but I couldn't concentrate any more. James looked really vulnerable and defenceless in his bed and it made me worry for the future and what he'd said about becoming an Auror. It was an important duty, kind of like a police officer but it was more dangerous than that. He would be up against people who'd have no qualms against killing innocent, oblivious people. I couldn't lose my only friend after I've only just found him. All this time I'd been slightly jealous of his living existence, but the truth is, I'm the lucky one; I couldn't die twice.

* * *

**A/N: **A quick update as an apology for waiting almost two years last time =) I'm about half-way through writing the next chapter too.

I want to hear your opinion: do you believe in ghosts? I had to do a bit of research for this chapter and some of the things I read freaked me out a little. I don't know what I believe, to be honest, but some members of my family have claimed to have seen or felt the presence of a ghost before and they aren't the sort to lie about it.

I did have a dream about my dad after he died that seemed really vivid and real, he came to say goodbye and told me not to be sad. I'd like to think it was real but I don't know...

Thank you to everyone who reviewed, favourited and followed! =D


	12. Awkward Awakenings and Thorough Searches

**11: Awkward Mornings and Thorough Searches**

_I couldn't lose my only friend after I've only just found him. All this time I__'__d been slightly jealous of his living existence, but the truth is, I__'__m the lucky one; I couldn't die twice. _

I'd lost track of time once again, at a time when I should have been keeping an eye on it. James had woken up unexpectedly fast_, _too fast in fact that I couldn't escape his room without being noticed.

"Lily!?" James said groggily whilst rubbing at his eyes, he still looked half asleep to me. He squinted in my direction and reached for his glasses on his bedside table blindly. I couldn't run now, I'd been spotted and there was no point in delaying the awkward conversation that we were about to have. "What are you doing here?! It's half past 7!"

"I, uh, got bored at the library," I mumbled.

"You got bored at the library," James parroted with a lot more sarcasm. "The library isn't the only other place outside of my house you know! There's a whole world out there!"

"I didn't know where else to go."

"Wait!" A look of horror passed James's face, "How long have you been there? Were you _watching me _sleep?!" James's agitation caused Shadow to screech angrily from her cage.

"Shh!" I hissed whilst listening carefully for any sign of movement from the next room over. James's mother had checked up on him last night before she went to bed herself, and as far as I knew, she was still sleeping. James seemed to cotton onto my thoughts.

"Why are you here, Lily?" he said quietly.

"Honestly?" I didn't want to lie to James, I was hoping that I'd just be able to leave before he'd woken up and he'd never know I was here.

"Yes," he replied whilst running his hands through his hair, messing it up more than it already was. He seemed a little impatient for my answer.

"I wanted to do some more research," I admitted. "I came here a couple of hours ago to look though your books-" his eyes darted towards his desk where I'd neatly stacked the said books before meeting mine again, "all of the stuff at the library wasn't very informative. They're written by people who don't consider ghosts being a normal occurrence and therefore don't have much information on them, or rather, _useful_ information."

"Right," James said. He was still giving me a look of suspicion. "That's still creepy, Evans. You've sure got this haunting lark down, haven't you?"

"And what do you mean by that?" I asked sharply, crossing my arms across my chest.

"Well, ghosts and their lack of respect for boundaries!" James snapped back. He mimicked my actions by crossing his own arms.

"I wouldn't need to sneak in if your were being honest!" I took a step towards James which he followed by getting up from the edge of his bed. We where almost standing nose to nose to each other. I had to wonder if he was getting cold from being so close.

"I've been nothing _but _honest with you!" James hissed, I guess he was still conscious of his mother just on the other side of the wall.

"You haven't!" I didn't need to contain myself, only James could hear me shouting.

"When?" James asked. "When have I _ever _lied to you? If anything I've been nothing _but _trusting of you! I gave you the benefit of the doubt when I thought you were a figment of my imagination. I trusted and vouched for you when Sirius accused you of being a Death Eater spy!" I would have retorted but we both froze at the sound of someone moving around in the next room over.

We both tensed for what was to come but nothing could have prepared ourselves for Jennifer Potter's outburst of, "What the _HELL _are you _doing _James!" The woman was bedraggled and had clearly only just woken up. "Merlin's beard!" James looked thoroughly guilty and taken aback.

"Sorry," he replied meekly. I only just got out of the way in time for Mrs Potter to take my place in front of James's bed. She didn't look impressed, not one bit. I only noticed that she'd picked her wand up on the way to the bedroom when she placed her hands on her hips.

"Sorry!?" she half screeched. In that moment I was glad she wasn't my mother, she could be one scary woman when she was angry. "What in Merlin's name where you shouting about?! I thought you were being attacked by Death Eaters! Who were you even shouting at?" She stared at James and he stared right back, trying to think of an excuse. He looked briefly in my direction for an answer but I just folded my arms across my chest for the second time in the last ten minutes.

"I must have been talking in my sleep," James said almost too quickly for it to be believable but Mrs Potter fell for it anyway. I suppose there wasn't really any other explanation from her point of view, to her the room was empty, unless she thought someone was hiding in the wardrobe.

"That's not like you," she said in a calmer tone. "Are you coming down with something?" She gently placed the back of her hand against James's forehead but he brushed her hand aside before she could get the readings she wanted.

"I'm fine, mum." She looked a little doubtful for a while before heading back towards the door.

"Okay," she started, "you would tell me if something was wrong?" I felt sorry for both of the Potter's in that moment. Jennifer looked a little pleading as if she knew her son was hiding something and James looked a little guilty, like he wanted to tell her the truth. If James was telling me the truth all along then his mother probably would believe he'd gone mad if I wasn't the normal type of ghost witches and wizards came across.

I'd cooled off a little since Mrs Potter left. I'll admit that I was probably overreacting about calling James a liar but he was kind of lying to me by omission. I still knew hardly anything about the ghosts James was familiar with. How was I ever going to figure out my predicament if I didn't have all the facts. James had been withholding a lot of things from me, and now I was sick of it. He was just a teenager, he and Sirius couldn't help me on their own. They didn't even know what I was! I needed real help from someone experienced, someone who may have came across someone like me before. I'd follow James to his school without his permission if I had to. There'd be magical teachers there, teachers were experienced. I still wanted James to help me but if I had to find answers on my own then I would! Well, it would be a lot easier for James to help me if he wasn't too busy ignoring me. Ever since his mother had left the room, he shot me a dirty look and turned his back towards me. He wouldn't turn around even when I kept calling his name. He was well and truly angry with me now. I wasn't going to apologise for the argument, I still think I was within my rights to gain as much information about magic and ghosts as possible.

"James?" I asked tentative after a couple moments of silence. He didn't answer but I saw his back tense up so I knew he was listening. "You can't ignore me forever, James." Still nothing. Okay, I needed to try a different tactic. I concentrated on the items littering his desk, more specifically, the pile of books, old ink pots and quills. Using all of the energy I could muster, I pushed them all to the floor. They clattered and smashed to the floor, loudly. There, he couldn't ignore that.

"Lily!" James hissed. I'd only succeeded in making him even more angry but at least he wasn't ignoring me anymore. "Are you insane!? I've only just got my mum off my back by a barely well-thought out lie, how am I going to explain this one?" He bent down and carefully picked up most of the stuff I'd sent flying, the ink pots were a lost cause though, they'd shattered on impact. "Oh great! Just great! Forget ghost behaviour, you're more like a poltergeist. We have one at school, he's a menace. You know what, I can't wait until you sort yourself out. The sooner I'm rid of you the better!" He sent a glare my way. I'd really gotten him worked this time, maybe I'd made a mistake. "Why don't we start now?"

I don't know what transpired in the next ten minutes. How could a neatish room go from organised to a complete and total mess in a couple of minutes. Never mind ghosts, was there such thing as possession? James literally ripped the carpet up, well, as much as he could without the heavy furniture getting in the way. He then proceeded to, what it looked like, check for lose floorboards. When he didn't find everything, he started to raid his drawers, wardrobe and bedside tables. What had got him in such a frenzy, I wasn't sure but he was determined to find something. After a while, he gave up and sat back down on his bed. I was about to speak but James beat me too it. He looked me in the eye and whilst pointing to the door, he simply said "out" in a cold tone. Not one to overstay my welcome, or one to sit with a madman, I complied but waited outside. Mrs Potter wasn't anywhere to been seen, luckily for James.

I didn't have to wait too long outside before James emerged out of his room, fully dressed. When he spotted me waiting he scoffed in my direction. He walked through me to get to the staircase and walked down with conviction. Curiosity got the better of me and I followed him down.

"Mum, I'm going out!" he called out when he got to the front door. Without waiting for a reply, he left the Potter residence.

"James? What are you doing?" I said with concern. He was kind of scaring me now. Something I'd read in the library last night came back to me; the book had claimed that ghosts became attached to the families they haunted. I don't care that I'm not a conventional ghost, anyone would become attached to the first person they'd been able to communicate to in years. I shouldn't have made James so angry. "James," I called out but he still carried on walking, "James, I'm sorry!" I got no response. I hurried to catch up with him. I guess I just had to wait for whatever James was up to to play itself out. I eventually caught onto where he was heading. A place I hadn't been back to since that fateful day. It scared me a little. The things I'd read were coming back to haunt me. Most of the books agreed on one thing: sometimes ghosts existed because they had unfinished or they didn't know they were dead or they simply held onto too tight and didn't want to let go. What if my presence at the river would cause me to fade away? I didn't want to go, not now, I definitely wasn't ready. "James, please!" I don't know for whose benefit I was pleading for now. I was scared for me and for what James was about to do. Had I driven him insane?

"You want answers!" James voice was equally pleading now as he shouted back at me. He sounded like he was on the verge of a breakdown.

"Yes, but not like this!" I wanted to reach out a drag him back to the house, although I hated to admit it but there was a part of me that wanted James to go through with this. I might find the truth at the river but I wanted James to be in the right frame of mind before he attempted anything. James just stormed on ahead, coming to the entrance gate to the park. Apprehension bubbled up inside of me, a nervous thrill shot through my stomach and I didn't think I'd be possible for a dead girl but I felt sick. The day was nicer when I drowned. Was James stupid enough to die the same way I did? It certainly seemed like it as he made a beeline towards the River Fresh.

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**A/N: **Another quick chapter, although, I'll probably start updating less often once I go back to work but I'm going to make myself at least update once a week. I've already wrote half of the next chapter though, so you don't need to worry about the next update.

Thank you again to those who have reviewed and followed. I'd also like to thank my long-time readers for being patient with me. =)


	13. A Near Drowning and A Possible Answer

**12: A Near Drowning and A Possible Answer**

_The day was nicer when I drowned. Was James stupid enough to die the same way I did? It certainly seemed like it as he made a beeline towards the River Fresh. _

"James!" I screamed in desperation. Was that boy really about to dive into that deadly pool of water? Didn't he realise that it was freezing out? "James! _James! _JAMES!" I tried again but he seemed set on his destination. Had I drove him to suicidal behaviour? The ghost books had mentioned that a ghost could drive people to do things they wouldn't usually go out and do themselves, but that's true for a normal person, isn't it? I couldn't believe what I was seeing. It was like it was happening in slow motion. James had jumped. He'd actually jumped into a river in the middle of winter! Nobody could hear me scream.

I rushed to the water's edge, impatiently waiting for James to emerge. Please don't let him be dead, please don't let him be dead, I felt reassured by my own mantra. I felt as if I repeated it in my head often enough I could will James to the surface myself. The dread in my stomach was slowly increasing with each bubble of air I spotted. Valuable air that James was losing the longer he was down there. I couldn't wait any longer, I couldn't stand idly whilst my best and only friend drowned. I knew what it was like, and whilst peaceful at the very end, it wasn't at all fun during the beginning and middle. The panic of not being able to breath is overwhelming, causing you to panic even more. The horrible realisation that you don't know what's up and what's down, that you're probably going to die down there alone. No, I wouldn't let it happen, I can't. And with that, I dived after James.

It felt strange being back in the water. I didn't need to breath, I had all the time in the world. Why hadn't I came down here in the first place, sparing James the trouble and pain? It was as dark as I remembered. I couldn't see anything! How was I going to find James when I couldn't see 30 centimetres in front of me? Terror set in my whole body as I began the frantic search for the drowning boy. I wasn't going to find him it time! I'd already waited too long! Why hadn't he come up to the surface? It took a while but I finally located James. He was just floating unconscious near the bottom of the river. Shouldn't he have floated to the surface? Human bodies had a natural buoyancy. I quickly dismissed the irrelevant thoughts from my mind and focused instead on getting James to safety. If I had a beating heart, it probably would have jumped a few beats. I couldn't grab hold of James! Of all the times for my ghost strength to fail me, it chose now to happen. I couldn't touch James, my hands went right through him. It wasn't my concentration that had caused this, I was focusing just fine. Maybe it was because I'd died in this spot and it made me weak. Maybe I'd sapped my strength shoving James's books to the floor, I don't know. All I _did _know was that I was watching James die. He was already unconscious! He needed help. Help that I couldn't give to him. I felt useless and if I could cry I would.

Just when I'd given up hope, I saw a pair of hands emerge beside me. Someone had noticed! My sprits lifted a bit but I couldn't help think about how long James had been under for. I resurfaced at the same time James was pulled from the water by a man. Something was wrong; James wasn't breathing.

"Come on, come on, please!" I pleaded to his unresponsive body. James was the stupidest, luckiest person I'd ever met, and I'll probably look back on this day as a reminder. The man who rescued James from the water started performing CPR. I'd read about it before but I'd never seen it performed in real life. It seemed a lot more complicated than I first thought it was. It was strange to think that this what must have happened to my body when I was pulled from the water five years ago. I was pulled from my thoughts when I heard the sputtering of James dispelling water from his lungs. I exhaled in relief. He was alive! I couldn't help the involuntary grin that spread across my face and if my ghost powers weren't failing me, I'd gather him up in a hug.

"Is he alright?" a woman asked tentatively from the sidelines. She was tightly clutching a dog lead between her hands. James didn't look alright to me, he was very pale and still. He occasionally coughed at random intervals.

"He will be," James's saviour answered back. "With plenty of rest and someplace warm." He held James down when he tried to get up. "Don't try to move boy, you've been through quite an ordeal. What were you thinking, huh?" The man then proceeded to remove his big winter coat and placed it over James. James glanced in my direction in between his coughs. He tried to move his arm in my direction but the man held it down. In an effort to warm James up, his rescuer rigorously rubbed down his arms and legs. The woman was still hovering like she wanted to help but didn't want to interfere at the same time, kind of like I felt at the moment.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" the woman piped up hesitantly.

"Yes," the man replied. "We need to get hold of his parents." There was a bit of exchange between the three of them before the woman set off to the Potter residence.

It wasn't long before the woman returned with Mrs Potter and, surprisingly, Mr Potter. He must have finished his undercover work then. They both looked equally worried to me but if I'd have heard someone from my family had almost drowned then I'd be just as worried. Well, I was worried for James anyway and I've only known him a couple of days. I kept an eye on James but in the background I could hear Jennifer thanking the man who saved James's life profusely. It was Mr Potter who rushed to James's side and picked him up off the ground. James was unsteady on his feet but Mr Potter had a firm grip on his side and the arm slung over his shoulder.

"Come on, James," he said in an encouraging and reassuring voice. "Let's get you home and warmed up." I matched my pace to the male Potter's as they slowly but surely staggered back to their house. James still wasn't looking good. I was hoping that he'd look more alive once he changed out of his wet clothes and changed into something warmer. It was only because James's fist was clenched over his father's shoulder that I realised that he was holding something. Had he found something on the river after all? Was his near-death experience not all in vain? I felt a rush of guilt. I shouldn't be excited at a time like this. I wasn't sure if James would be alright yet.

It was only after Mr and Mrs Potter had aided in getting James warmed up and tucked up on the sofa in the study that they reprimanded him for his reckless behaviour. It was interesting to watch. It was half of the things I wanted to scold James about and more. I learned a bit more about the Potters in general as well. For example, they didn't need to live in my old home; they had a manor! It was apparently unsafe to live in with all of stuff with the Death Eaters going on. That made sense but it made me feel even more isolated from James. My family weren't particularly well-off but we weren't poor either. James must be rich if his family owned a manor. You wouldn't think it if you looked around their second home. The furnishings were quite sparse and plain but if I owned two houses, I wouldn't bother too much on the second home. I was just speculating, of course, as I hadn't seen the manor. They might decorate all their homes like they had this one.

"What were you thinking?!" Mr Potter shouts in a burst of anger. I turn my attention back to the Potters. "Scaring us by running off like that is one thing but I've seen your room James!" I see James grimace, in guilt or pain, I do not know.

"Charles," Mrs Potter chides gently. "Can't this wait until tomorrow? We've all had a difficult couple of days. We all need to sleep before we say something we don't mean." Charles looks as though he was about to protest but Jennifer Potter adds, "I'll stay here and watch James, you need to sleep." Mr Potter sighs in resignation before storming out of the room. I guess he was too tired to argue. Mrs Potter turned her back towards me and James to dither in front of assorted bottles of liquid on the shelves in front of her. I take this time to talk to James.

"Why did you do that?" I ask rhetorically. I knew he couldn't answer whilst his mum was in the room but he glared at me nonetheless. Maybe he was still mad at me. "It was stupid!" James turned around on the sofa he was bundled up so his back was facing me too. I back off for now. I didn't want to push James too far whilst he was still ill but he wasn't getting off so easily. Tomorrow I'd question him and tomorrow I'd find my answers. I wanted to know what he'd found in the river and why it was so important he'd risk he life over it.

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**A/N: **Sorry this chapter quite short. I was really tired when I wrote this so there may be some errors I've missed when I was proof-reading.

Thank you for reading! =)


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